Sunday, May 6, 2012

10 Things I do Every.Single.Morning.

Listicles!!!  I love them. And so here I am again.  What do you do in one hour of your day?  Perfection.

Funny thing is, I was just thinking about this today as I was doing about 4 things at the same time. Folding laundry, cooking dinner, scolding my children and drinking wine.

It's a well known fact that women are born master multi-taskers.

That is why we make such great Mothers.

Here is my typical morning between the hours of 7am - 8am.  I stay at home with my boys so I have the luxury of not having to really 'be' anywhere which is nice, I will admit.  But that doesn't make my mornings any easier.

7am (this can vary between the 6 - 6:30...7 am is being extraordinarily optimistic here!) - awake to my 4 year old climbing into my bed, snuggling all warm and cozy with me under the covers and giving me the false impression that I can do the same...before he demands asks for juice.  I tell him Mummy just woke up and he needs to give me a few minutes.  He falls silent for about 1 minute...and then whines for juice again.

7:05 - stumble to the kitchen for said juice.  While I'm in the kitchen I figure I should probably start up some coffee so that I can begin to feel somewhat human.  (that's 2 things there right?)

7:10 - bring eldest juice, climb back into bed and pray to God that littlest doesn't start yelling for 'MUUMMMY' for at least another 20 minutes.

7:15 - littlest starts yelling for 'MUUUUMMMY!!!!'  I retrieve smallest child from crib and fail to change diaper as he screams, squirms and completely LOSES HIS SHIT when I even attempt to bring him near the change table.

7:20 - bring him into my bed, lie between him and his brother so as not to cause any disturbance and turn on Scooby Doo.  Try to fall back asleep but all I can smell is pee and little elbows and knees are jabbing me in places that should never see nor feel elbow or knees.

7:30 - Littlest says he's 'Hummy'.  In other words he's hungry and must have his morning dose of Cheerios with milk.  Stat.

7:35 - Descend the stairs with Mr Stinky Pee Pants on hip - pray that his diaper isn't so full he leaks onto my pj's, retrieve cereal box, pour cereal and milk into a bowl and bring to Master Finley who awaits on chubby kneecaps at his usual chair.

7:36 - Pour myself a massive cup of coffee with milk and sit with youngest at table.

7:40 - Youngest demands more milk.  Trudge over to fridge, retrieve milk, bring to table and pour more milk into bowl.

7:50 - Eldest yells from upstairs that the PVR'd Scooby Doo is done and he wants another - trudge upstairs to do as told.  Or else risk the wrath of Master Adrian.

7:52 - Rush back down the stairs to ensure smallest child does not choke on Cheerios.  Notice that he's finished his Cheerios and is now on his way to undressing himself right down to his stinkin' saggy diaper.  Which promptly I ignore.  I can't handle the hysterics of attempting that diaper change again.  I have yet to finish my coffee.

8:00 - Feed the dog.  Feed the plants.  Feed myself.

Oh wait.

That was more than 10 wasn't it?

14 comments:

Stacey said...

Your morning makes me ready to go to bed right away! And what is it with kids not wanting their diapers changed? I would think you would want that soggy mess off your bum ASAP!

Bees With Honey said...

Oh the dreaded stinky diaper! I love it that everyone includes the cup of coffee in the morning and refers to it as if it's a needed drug. It is though!!!

Kristin said...

oh the smell, look and feel of an overnight diaper! ; ) truthfully, i have two LEAST favourite things about motherhood - getting morning breakfast and making lunches for daycare days. this post was making me cringe at the thought that up down, do this, do that, bring me this, pour me that stuff that we go through. grrrrrrrr!

Stasha said...

I remember those diaper fits oh too well. Wish I remembered the smell of baby hair instead...
You truly are a born multitasker. Don't you wish, looking back, we all lived in bungalows? I know I do!

Cloth Diapers said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Alison@Mama Wants This said...

Fortunately there are no hysterics in my house when it comes to diaper changing - I think my little dude relishes that he doesn't have to be in a stinky heavy diaper!

Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms said...

Stinky diapers are a fantastic start to any day, aren't they? Here's hoping your coffee helps. :) Ellen

Katie E said...

My boy has started hating diaper changes, and it's driving me insane. I put off the morning diaper change too long sometimes - so I experience the slight leak through onto my pajamas. I don't think he actually hates the diaper change - he just wants to get up and walk around naked for awhile instead of laying down and getting the new diaper on. But for my husband? He just lays there and takes it.

Robbie K said...

Wait..you actually get to feed yourself w/i one hour of waking? you are my hero!

Jackie said...

You are so right! The amount of multitasking we do is pretty amazing, huh?

Jen said...

Hahaha!!! I can relate. The only thing that helps is I set up my coffee maker before I go to bed, and it's all ready for me in the morning :)

AudreyN said...

Why is changing a diaper absolute torture!? I don't get it!!! and I swear all kids are just tiny dictators :)

Yoli N. said...

poor thing. lol

Paul Craig said...

I'm sympathetic and laughing at the same time. Great list.