I paused, I did a quick breath intake with a sarcastic remark on the tip of my tongue that never actually made it out because, thankfully one of my son's barged up to me and asked me to help him with something which of-course made me have to get up off of my lazy stay at home Mother's ass in order to assist.
Don't worry. This is not going to turn into an indignant, ranty post. I'm done with my spurt of anger. Because quite honestly, I'm pretty sure he didn't really mean what he said. I'm sure it just came out the wrong way. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt because I don't know him. And if he did mean exactly those words, well, that's fine. I know what's what. I know that my choice to stay home was the best choice for me and for my family and that's all that matters. Granted there are the days when I become screechy, naggy, annoying and every 6 months or so verge on the teetering edge of psychotic and then I do wonder if my choice really was the best thing for all of us. But in my heart, my mind and my gut I know. Besides I certainly wasn't going to have this person that I didn't know well at all taint the amazing day I had at the beach with my boys for the first time on my own. No I was not.
Today didn't seem like 'work' at all except for all the bags and blankets and towels and toys and life jackets I had to lug down to the beach. On my own. Apparently life jackets that weigh all of .000002 lbs are farrrrr too heavy for a 3 and a 5 year old to carry. Upon choosing the perfect spot right in front of the water's edge I plunked my butt down on the not so soft, but moreso a mix between gravel and pebbles kind of sand and began to dig holes, make sand castles, build dams and then watch my sons' play together like I haven't seen them play together in a very long time. It was practically effortless. We ate snacks on the quilt with them wrapped up and snuggled next to me. We swam and played volley ball with a beach ball. And at the risk of sounding as cheesy as one ever could, we even sang Ring around the Rosy in the water about a dozen times with them daring me to go under the water at "We all fall down!" We were practically the poster family for a Coppertone commercial. In fact I'm sure the other people there watching us (because apparently I'm narcissistic enough to think that other people probably were) believed me to be the type of Mother who never raised her voice at her children, was super fun, always played with my kids whenever they asked and actually didn't care that she had about a million pebbles imprinted on her backside.
Today I was the type of Mother I wished I always was and for that, today was the best day of my whole entire summer. So far.
I will never forget it.
I just hope my sons' always remember it that way too.
|This was the best pic I got of the 3 of us. One stuffing his face with a brownie|
and the other looking like he'd much rather be doing anything else then what I
was making him do.