Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Twelve Things I Never Thought I'd Say to My Kids

Linking up over at 18 Years to Life about the crazy things we say to our kids...

1. Honey, I love you but I don't love your boogers.

2. The dog is not a horse so please don't ride her like one.

3. Shall I put some dog food in a dish and add milk for you? (after I caught him munching on some for the umpteenth time)

4. Mummy's underwear is not an accessory. (as I pull my bright pink thong off of his head)

5. Sweetie - that is not your toothpaste - that is polysporin.

6. Ooooooh!  Your little bum is so delicious!  Can I eat it???

7. No baby, we don't play with knives. (rest assured he did not have a knife in hand but was reaching for one)

8. It's okay to give Riley kisses but please don't kiss her butt.

9. Please don't eat Mommy's earplugs.

10. Stop!  Stop it!  We do not eat gum off the sidewalk!  

11. No honey, you cannot have a beer.

12. Fine!  That's fine!  Ride your bike naked but don't cry to me when your little peanut gets hurt.

Yes, that is my naked son riding a bike.
At least he had the forethought to put on his helmet.


Amber_D said...

Too funny!

And why do ALL kids want to eat dog food?

The Lifers said...

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the last one!

parenting ad absurdum said...

Ha! The photo alone is worth millions.

momosyllabic said...

Cute pic! Save that for his wedding.

Mommy Nani Booboo said...

Okay- that's the best picture ever! And I think I've said almost all of those-or a version of them.
Still- best picture ever! Apparently mommies should always remind kids to wear helmets... and pants...

Sara said...

I can so relate to #5! They need to stop putting stuff that's not toothpaste in toothpaste-like tubes!

Thanks for linking up with us and sharing a hilarious list!

~ Sara from

Anonymous said...

ride to my house lets f--k, I love tight little boys