Friday, December 7, 2012

I did it. I bought The Elf.

I broke down and bought the Elf today.  If you need further clarification on that you're either not a parent of small children or have been hiding under a rock for over a year.

It was very anti-climactic actually.  I know you're supposed wrap him/her up and have her delivered to your house but since my husband has been away a lot of the month and won't be home too much until after the 15th which is a bit late to start the tradition I just went to Chapters and bought the darn thing with kids in  tow.

Of-course the questions from my 4 year old began right away and I cursed myself and all the legions of parents that indirectly peer pressured me into buying the darn thing.

Upon examining the Elf in Starbucks over delicious ridiculously expensive snowman cookies, this is how our conversation went...

"That's a boy."

No she's a girl.  Look at her earrings.

"But boys can wear earrings too."

You're right, they can.  But she's wearing red lipstick.

"But boys can wear lipstick too."

You're right.  Some boys do wear lipstick.  (where he's seen this is a bit troubling to me, though I do love his open mind)

"It's a boy."

No.  It's a girl.  It says so on the box.

"How does she get to the North Pole?"

She flies.

"But how does she fly?"


"Why can't she talk to us?"

She isn't allowed to talk to us.  Remember?  Santa's rules.

"But why?  And does she have sucker feet?"

Santa's rules buddy.  And no, no sucker feet.

"Why is her hair fake but her clothes real?"

(Are you kidding me?  What?  Who asks that question?  And what does that even mean?)

When you're sleeping tonight her hair turns real.

???!!!  At this point I have no idea what I'm even saying.  I'm just trying to shut my twenty thousand question kid up.

The inquisition died down at long last and he kept saying, "This is so exciting!  I can't wait to wake up tomorrow and find her!"

Adrian named her Tracy eventually.  After mulling over the names Pelf, Sugar (I loved this one the best), Drew, Jack and Avery, I have no idea where he got the name Tracy from.  We don't hang out with anyone named Tracy - the only Tracy's I know are my cousin whom he's never met and my friend's sister whom he's also never met.  Last week when we built our first snowman of the year he named it Elaine.  We don't know any Elaine's.  And to my knowledge he's never seen an episode of Seinfeld.

He's so random I love it.

My three year old on the other hand couldn't give a two flying fairies about this thing.  Hated the book.  Refused to read it with us.  Doesn't even flinch when I utter those dreadful words, "You know Tracy can see everything you're doing right now.  She's going to be reporting back to Santa tonight!"

His brother will chime in at this point, "Yeah and she's going to say,  'Santa! COALS for Finley!"

Adrian - well it works like a charm for him. It actually makes me feel a bit guilty.  But the gleeful excitement on his face when he thinks about where we might find her tomorrow pushes most of that guilt away.  And of-course to make things a little more interesting and fun...not to mention more work because I love making my life more difficult then it needs to be, I've decided to leave little rhyming notes with her every morning.  Tonight I've propped her up in our Christmas tree with a rolled up note.

I'll leave you with what Tracy has written for them come morning...

Good morning boys and how are you?

I made it back from the North Pole just in time - PHEW!

My report back to Santa was more than just fine.

Your brotherly love and affection to watch is divine

However, please keep in mind to stop slamming doors
and clean your toys up off of the floors

Though Mommy's voice gets loud (it sound like she needs a good rest)

Remember she loves you so much and always knows best!

Love, Tracy xoxo

Tracy the Elf chillin like a villain in our tree...with note for boys to find in the morning.


Kristin said...

Soooo awesome! My sister got one about 3 years ago and I thought she was ri.dic.u.lous. and that it was the ugliest thing ever. Two years later, I resisted the urge to buy one, but have so much excitement for all the photos of Elves posted on different photo blogs and fb. I figured that I don't need one more reason to pick up my camera, but here I sit, completely envious of the experience you will have with Tracy (so random!). I am thisclose to pressing send on an online oder for one for next year. ; ) I have started bookmarking ideas for setting up our elf! Until then, I will love any updates you do with Tracy. ; ) Nothing like a little elf to completely take over behaviour management for a little while, eh? ; ) So funny!

LEslie Goldman said...

Hi January,
My name is Leslie Goldman and I’m a writer with I’m trying to reach you for a story I’m working on – would you mind emailing me at Thanks!!

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