So last week I walked into the change room at my gym and WHOA!
A woman exposed from the waist down was bent over lotioning her legs, one foot placed on the bench seat. Her white derriere was a like a blaring neon sign. And to make it worse, her neon white behind faced a very, very large mirror which reflected it back into the change room and into everyone else's poor unsuspecting eyes.
It could not be escaped.
Now. I realize I'm a modest gal...the type of girl that brings her towel, moisterizer and undergarments to the shower area fully dressed, hops into the shower - fully dressed - then throws her gym clothes in a bag through a very thin curtain opening...because there are no private change rooms. (WTH?!) After my shower I scurry back towards my dark corner of the change room and dress under my towel so that no one else sees a glance of my hide nor..hair. There's nothing wrong with my body. It is not perfect but it is in perfect working order. I am in good shape because I work at it. I'm healthy and proud of what it's done. It carried and nourished two beautiful, healthy, perfect babies. I'm strong. I can lift heavy weights, run, bike, carry both my boys at the same time. (that's 70 plus lbs right there). I have my 'things' my 'hang ups'...there are certain...areas I'm self conscious about and I really wish I wasn't but I don't think that's unusual. I'm not a prude. Just take my word for it. And that is all I will say about that. ahem. I believe all woman's bodies that are healthy are something to be respectfully admired...not ogled or jeered at. And by healthy I'm not talking about a forced size 0 where all of one's skelebones are visible. Or women that have dieted so much they look like bobble heads. That's not hot. (Here - have a burger. With cheese. You are sadly missing out.) I just don't think it's necessary to stand, bent over at waist lathering body cream on your legs with your bare behind sticking out when the rest of your body is perfectly clothed. Or hanging around with your (clothed) friends chatting about the weather. I can tell you right now lady. It's cold outside. Put some damn clothes on! I also don't get why one must stand buck nekkid brushing her hair when it's pretty clear to me (by a quick and dreadfully mistaken peep) you should be concentrating on the grooming of the hair...in other areas. You get me?
I will never, ever understand gratuitous nakedness. There is actually a family nudist resort not 15 minutes from where I live and every time I pass the sign for it on the highway I shake my head in disbelief. A couples nudist resort is one thing...but a family nudist resort!!! REALLY!??? Chunky, dimply naked baby bottoms are one thing but chunky dimply adult bottoms are a whole 'nother. Combining all that chunky dimpliness in one place is just...too much chunky dimpliness. And bums are not the worst thing to look at. Human anatomy is full of floppy...areas. And I speak not of just the backside of a middle aged woman's upper arm. I have to admit that I'm a tad bit curious what kind of activities go on at a Family Nudist Resort. I can see swimming and sunbathing but picturing a family game of shuffle board wearing nothing but your birthday suit? It's just too much. And what about meal times...uck. I just lost my appetite. (and here is where all the weirdos come find my blog thanks to google)
Be naked all you want in your own home. Have at it. Dance, do handstands, watch t.v. play tag, sing, cook,(actually please don't cook - that's just plain unsanitary) clean your whole house naked for all I care.
Just please ensure all blinds and curtains are closed.
Especially if you happen to be one of my neighbours.