Thursday, November 17, 2011

The Day: Scene by Scene

Scene One 15:00 - Checking out at the cashier line at the store.  I bought Adrian and Finley some new superhero figures because clearly they don't have enough already and clearly I'm that awesome of a Mother.

Or I feel guilty that I've had zero patience in the past 48 hours.  And they miss their dad.  So much.

Scene Two 15:02 - Adrian spots candy.  Needs. Candy.  HAS.TO.HAVE.CANDY.  I say no.  He whines. Cries.  Pouts.  I see the beginnings of a tantrum start to whirl around his aura and I warn him in my best Mumma bear voice, "Adrian, if you don't stop asking for candy, we will be walking out of here with nothing."  He pushes and hits my leg.  Something inside of me snaps. I turn to the lady and apologize, asking her to cancel the purchase.

Scene Three 15:05 - Outside of said store, I'm holding Finley and Adrian is lying on the sidewalk with his hands grasped around my ankle screaming, "TOYS, TOYS, TOYS!   I WANT MY TOYS!"

I stand there trying not to laugh, partly in amusement, partly in embarrassment and partly because wtf else am I suppose to do, as people walk around us, giving me the look.

Oh you know the look.  If they only knew.

You see people...though shalt never judge another just never know.  That Mother?  Losing her mind at her child over there...she's probably been on her own, with no help from anyone, for weeks could be you someday.  Just keep that in mind next time.

Scene Three 15:10 - We finally made it to the truck as Adrian rammed his head repeatedly against me, crying, screaming, demanding to go back for his toy.

Oh you think so Mister?  You think so?!!


I buckle Finley into his seat while Adrian continues his rant on the other side.

I'm pretty sure an exorcism is in order at this point.

It takes me 20 GD minutes to get the child to calm down.  The only way being that I got in the drivers seat, put the key in the ignition and he freaked out thinking I was going to drive away without him in his car seat. (No, no, it was only that it started to blizzard snow for the first time this year and I was afraid they were going to freeze their tushies off.  Because even though my child is obviously possessed, I still care about his basic needs.  LIKE NOT FREEZING TO DEATH.)


Hmmmm.  He doesn't mind losing his marbles in front of whomever, wherever, but God forbid you don't put a seatbelt on the child.

Whoever said children were normal?

I'll be keeping this one in mind.

Scene Four 14:00 - At home I receive a text from my hero next door neighbour who has offered up services to take my boys for a couple hours while I take some desperately needed alone time.

'We're ready when you are.'

Oh thank you GOD.

Scene Five 14:30 - perusing the aisles fancy free and kidless at Winners.  Smelling perfumes, bath soaps, looking at make-up, trying on clothes.

Scene Six 16:15 - Minus too many dollars to admit here and two bags full later and I'm off.  Heaven by Bryan Adams comes on the radio.

I turn it up.  Waaaay up.

And I start singing at the top of my lungs. I'm not saying there was head weaving and/or bopping.

But there might have been.

So the eighties seriously dropped the ball with fashion, but the music is awesome! (sung in high falsetto)

And then I missed my husband terribly.

But I still continued to sing away with an ache in my heart....all the way to the LCBO.


You you realized I've barely  survived these past couple of weeks consuming only ONE bottle of wine?!

I'm pretty sure I deserve a medal or something for that.

Or 8 bottles of wine.

And a big ass bottle of Bailey's.

Scene Seven 17:30 - dinner at my lovely neighbours house.  It was yummy.  And there was wine.

Scene Eight 18:30 - boys are in bed.  For the love of all that is good and holy in this world, thank you.  I am at peace once again.  

End Scene.  (me here blogging with a large glass of wine)


Ellen said...

I enjoyed this blog. Felt for you and happy for the respite at the end of the day. I think the big glass of wine (or two) was much needed.

Stacey said...

My boys FLIP OUT if they think I'm going to start driving before they're snapped into their carseats too. It is handy for redirecting attention during a tantrum or when they're moving too slow...and for the couple times I have actually forgotten - yikes!