Monday, April 18, 2011

Motherhood. The Good, the Bad, the Ugly.

Motherhood is all about the good, the bad and the ugly.  To use the stupid yet all encompassing phrase "It is what it is".  Some days are good...there are minimal tantrums (minimal as in only a couple in the morning...and a couple in the afternoon), minimal fighting between siblings (meaning that you can keep it down to a minimum when you threaten time outs, count to 3 and they actually listen), minimal complaints about meals (they don't completely freak out when you cut their sandwich in half rather than in 4 squares, or they're okay when you give them 4 baby carrots and not 5 AND they actually eat most of what you put in front of them) You might get a bit of housework done (like a load of laundry and a few dishes...if you're really lucky the floor might get swept) And then of-course the adorable random hugs, sweet kisses and heart melting I love yous.  Those are the good days.

The bad days are when it starts of with your child waking you from a dead sleep by crying/whining loudly in your ear for no apparent good reason.  They just want to go DOWNSTAIRS....NOW.  Downstairs you find a toy chewed beyond recognition thanks to the damn dog.  Your baby is teething, clingy and miserable and your 3 year old,no DEMANDS...chocolate cookies for breakfast.  Your little guy won't stop crying and the oldest,no go outside even though it's 6:30 a.m. and -10 degrees outside...besides that...WHO goes outside before 9 am unless you have a job outside the house or have kids that go to school????  Of-course then it all comes to a head when you're fed up, beyond low voiced reasoning and you state loudly as you noisily put the dishes in the dishwasher with one hand with your youngest squirming on your hip "No, for the millionth time you cannot eat chocolate cookies for breakfast and we are NOT going outside right now!" your 3 year yells "I don't LIKE you Mommy.  You're a BAD BAD Mommy!" and defiantly throws his toast on the floor, the crying of your baby goes up about 100 decibels as he continues to cling to you for dear life and it all goes to hell from there.  No matter what you do you feel frazzled, easily stressed, you raise your voice too many times and the grey cloud of guilt that every mother carries gets darker, and the day feels like it'll never come to an end.

The ugly days are reserved just for me.  Those are the days when I wake up feeling like a wretched old hag....then I look in the mirror and wonder when I started looking like a wretched old hag and no amount of concealer or make up can disguise the furrowed horizontal wrinkles between my brows that desperately need to be plucked or brighten my eyes that are dulled with a serious lack of sleep or cover up the sun spots that seems to multiply year after year even though I DO wear sunscreen even in the winter.  God forbid going out in public without make up on.  My hair is a tangled mess of wretchedness too.  I used to be able to wake up and spritz a bit of water in it, scrunch it up and go.  Now, now no amount of product can make it look how I want it too.  Forget my luscious beautiful curls that once were.  I now have to blow dry my hair straight if I want it to look any kind of decent.   I am going prematurely grey,  therefore dyeing it regularly is essential if I don't want to look like Cruella Deville.  And what's up with grey hair and how fast it grows?  I wake up some mornings and a wiry inch long grey one is pokin' up right in the middle of my part.  I'm pretty sure that was NOT there when I went to bed the night before!  The only thing sorta still holding its own (thanks to good genes) these days is my body.  I mean, it looks good for having had 2 kids (besides the fact that my belly button looks totally foreign to me now, my boobs are smaller and my butt is bigger).  But I just want it to look good.  I realize I'll never have my hot 20 year old body back....I've resigned myself to that fact.  But forget the "for having 2 kids" part.  Like when someone tells you "You look great, for your age".  How about just..."You look great!".  Leave it at that people!

I usually like to end things on a positive note  but then it wouldn't be simpatico with the title.

That's it.  That's all.  My version of the good, the bad and the cowboys here (how unfortunate).


The Lifers said...

This was a great post. So True. So relatable.

Ellen said...

There's a well known but "whispered" truth among mothers who work outside the home. Most women either can't or don't want to be a "stay at home mother" because it's so damned difficult. Here's(everyone hold up a glass of whatever your beverage of choice is) to all of the brave and unheralded parents (male and female) who take on this daunting task and do it with love and patience. It truly is a labour of love.

Helene said...

Right now, for me, it seems like the bad days come more often than the good days. I seriously just asked my kids to stop talking to me because their whiny voices sound like nails on a chalkboard. It's been a bad day...but then again, it's spring break. Yikes.

Loved this post...I can relate to every bit of it!

Ado said...

Well thank GOD there aren't any cowboys here cause I don't like 'em all that much anyway.
As for who leaves the house before 9 AM unless its for work? I'm right there with ya sister.
Motherhood can be hard, and your post sure shows that - the good the bad and the ugly, oh yes it does. I feel just like that some days and I know every mom who reads this probably does too!
PS: I don't know if anyone has told you this but the big secret about parenthood is that (drumroll please...) the terrible twos are not really the terrible twos, they are the terrible threes. For real. Every mom I talk to - 3 was the hardest. It's like 3 is the new 2.

Attila said...

Yes, 3 is the new 2! Funny, January, I read this after it took me about 2 hours to put Justin to bed! He wasn't whiny or anything, but, every imaginable delay tactics was used from choosing PJ's, toothbrush (and again because my teeth are not clean enough!), which book to read, etc.!! I don't even think he does it on purpose, it is done subconsciously!!

January Dawn said...

Thanks for the nice feedback everyone! And thanks for the toast Mum!

@Attila - I think you are seriously underestimating J-man! He completely knows what he's doing! ;)

@Helene - hang in there!!! Take some deep breaths and if you're lucky enough that it's not cold and rainy where you are get outside and take a walk (by yourself!)

Dana said...

Just wanted to let you know we loved this post and included it as one of our favorites from last week. We could seriously relate:

January Dawn said...

Thank you Dana!!! I feel so honoured to be recognized by such talented and lovely ladies once again!