Thursday, March 31, 2011

The Tantrum

Everyone always talks about the terrible two's.  I'm wondering if anyone was ever going to let me in on the secret that terrible three's exist too.

I picked Adrian up from pre-school yesterday and was told by his teacher that he had a "great day!".

Apparently he decided to save the worst part of his day for me.

How thoughtful.

It started off innocently enough.  He asked to go to Tim Horton's as he always does.  After a bit of hesitation from me and after he implored pathetically "Pleeease Mumma" about 5 times his big blue eyes on mine...I totally gave in.

Mistake number one.

Off we walked down to the end of the plaza where the Tim Horton's is located (between which is a barber, a dry cleaning place, massage therapy, a variety store and an abandoned Swiss Chalet....just to give you an idea of how much of a walk it is, especially with 2 little ones).

I'm sure it's the only one in existence that does not have a drive through.

A drive-through would've made my life a helluva lot easier and would have completely avoided the hysterics that I now have the pleasure of letting you in on....

We arrived at a very busy Tim Horton's and in we trooped.  Today Adrian decided he wanted a croissant and an old fashioned glazed timbit.  I also purchased a plain timbit for my little guy.  As I handed them their timbits, Adrian insisted he hold the paper bag with his croissant in it.  He then quietly and politely asked for a chocolate milk.  I said okay.  Manners and good behaviour so far.  Check.


Mistake number two.

As we got back in line for the chocolate milk he stated that he wanted to sit at the table to eat his snack and drink his chocolate milk.  It was getting late and I knew John was going to be home from work soon and I had to get dinner ready, which is what I gently tried to tell my 3 year old.

Mistake number three.

He turned around, hit the garbage can door that was situated behind us and it began to swing wildly back and forth.  His eyes filled with tears and he demanded loudly "NO, I want to stay HERE!"

After that display of behaviour I told him we were leaving without his chocolate milk.

This is when it gets gooood folks.

He screamed in a pitch so high I was convinced the dogs living in the nearest homes began to howl.

He was so angry that he clenched his fists (thus crushing his timbit) and started to vibrate.  I'm not kidding.

I admit.  I was a little bit scared of him.

Now, if it was just Adrian and me it would've been easy to simply pick him up and leave the place so as not to become a complete spectacle.  (well as easy as it is to pick up a 40 pound 3 year old that's thrashing around like a fish out of water)

Too late for that.  The stomping of the feet, swinging of the arms, writhing of the body and screaming continued as I attempted to maneuver him out the door with an almost 30 lb baby in my arms.

Okay, so I practically dragged him out.  I was THAT Mom.

All the way back down the sidewalk of the plaza towards the truck (as I carried Finley in my arms so that he wasn't bulldozed by his unhinged brother....I'm in pretty good shape but my arms were feeling like they were about to become unhinged) he vacillating between ramming his head into my legs and then stopping dead in his tracks to advise me "I stopped crying Mumma...can we go get a chocolate milk now?"

Yeah right kid.

He continued his tirade, throwing his untouched croissant to the ground, mere crumbs of his timbit left in his clenched hand.

It was awesome.  I had to hold back a bit of laughter...mostly nervous laughter because I didn't know what else to do.  My hands were tied.  I had to ride it out.  There was actually a point in time where I was running with Finley in my arms just to keep Adrian from continually ramming into me.

Um.  That's bad isn't it?

Finley, thank God for Finley, did not even make a peep the entire time.

I love that kid.

We eventually made it to the truck in one piece.  Barely.  Well, except the forsaken croissant and pulverized poor timbit.  Nonetheless, Adrian seemed to have run out of steam.  As I buckled him into his car seat he grabbed me close and mumbled tearfully into my jacket..."I love you Mumma".


Then he noticed the timbit in his hand crushed beyond recognition and therein began a whole other wave of tears.

Of-course, Finley, having had enough of the maniacal madness of his brother, started to cry.

Lord, have mercy on me.  Please.

I wearily climbed into the truck, giving myself a big pat on the back for keeping it together fairly good thus far.

I put the key in the ignition and started up the truck.  On the radio was Jennifer Lopez's On the Floor.

I love that song.

It was like a little sparkle of happiness in a cacophony of craziness.

I turned the volume way up hoping to drown out the chaos in the backseat imagining myself in a dance club so that I too could "Dance the night away, grab somebody, drink a little more."


Perfect Dad said...

Funny story. You're a strong mom, but that boy will continue to grow. Hit the gym, and get that husband to 'splain a few things, you know, man-style to Adrian.

January Dawn said...

Thanks Alex! Not to husband's a pro at 'splainin' things. :) He had a little "chat" with him upon returning home.

Perfect Dad said...

Have you ever heard of comedian Louis CK? He swears a lot, but has a few choice bits about parenting. The one I'm thinking of right now is how some people judge a mother who is screaming at her kid in the middle of a store. After having kids, he's thinking, what did that kid do to that poor woman.

You might look him up on youtube. Here's one:

January Dawn said...

Alex!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing this guy with me. I had tears running down my face I was laughing so hard!!! OMG.

Ellen said...

I think they're called the "terrible two's" and the "trying three's".

Attila said...

Awesome Jan! I would be lying if I said Justin doesn't throw down some wild tantrums, usually when I believe that I am being the most reasonable and understanding! Usually when I feel like I am being strict he just says, "Okay, daddy", it's kind of weird!

Robin-Lee Pereda said...

I was almost rolling on the floor laughing reading this! Then I totally had a flashback of the first time Nate ever did something like this to me in a store.
He also was 3... & it happened just after I had begun to think "Whew- we made it through the terrible two's- that wasn't SO bad!" Yeah Right- he'd saved it up. 3 was much more of a challenge then 2! But be encouraged... It doesn't last forever. Oh- but then you get the "finicky fours." That's when Nate really started asserting his independence & figured HE could make all his own decisions, especially what he would & wouldn't eat. THINK AGAIN LITTLE ONE!!! *LOL* So far- mommy 1, Nate 0. *S*

January Dawn said...

@Mumma- that was not trying I hate to say. THAT was terrible!

@Attila - thank you! Maybe you should take that as a sign you need to be more strict with J-man, although I can't believe sweet, quiet Justin would EVER have a tantrum such as the one I dealt with. ;)

@Robin - I am so happy I could entertain you and make you laugh so hard! That makes me feel great!

Tanya said...

Do you think someone in the Timmies would have wanted to buy him? I hear you can get some good money for kids these days! Just sayin'
HAHAHAHAHAHA Sounds like a really fun day...I can't wait to have That was sarcasm, in case you misread! ;p

Michelle said...

Oh my goodness! So sad and so funny at the same time!

If still no one has told you, the threes are FAR WORSE than the twos. Hang in there. The fours are like a breath of fresh air...if you make it that far. ;-)

January Dawn said...

@Tanya - yes, I think I totally could've auctioned off my kid to the highest bidder that looked like they were trying very hard not to stare at my beast of a child.

@Michelle - thank you so much....for your kind words and your support. ;)

parenting ad absurdum said...

You are so funny!! And yes, it's the threes with my boys too. My older son did come out of somewhere in his fourth year, and now he's a sweet, relatively sane human being...I hope it's the same with second, now three and three-quarters! Thanks for the sweet comment on my blog. And how gorgeous are you??

January Dawn said...

Ah Peryl...thanks so much for a much needed ego boost. You seriously just made my whole week!

Paige Kellerman said...

Oh girl, this KILLED me! How many times have I been in such a situation? I cringe to think about it. I wanted to simultaneously pat you on the back and run out and buy you new croissants..LOL I've got two-year-old twins and, if we can make it to four years if age, I'll be ecstatic. Isn't it amazing how the lone, awesome song on the radio can deliver one from meltdowns and help you forget you have children plotting your demise, behind you?

Sparkling said...

So glad to hear that you left without the chocolate milk due to his tantrum. I'm a teacher and can't believe how spoiled kids are and I'm appalled when I see parents give in because they dont' want to deal with causing a scene. And now we have a variety of 20 somethings who are poorly prepared for real life and expect that they can have everything they want. I think we're finally seeing people applauding the parents who stick to their guns in public and try to teach junior a thing or two. at least i hope so! love that you also found some humor in the whole thing!! Found you at finding the funny.

Anna at said...

Oh gosh - I have had days like that! I have to say that the 3's were so much worse on us than the 2's. Hang in there! :)

(And thanks for linking up to finding the funny!)