I'm calling in sick to work today.
Oh, wait a minute.
I can't call in sick because I'm a full time stay at home Mother that will never, ever, ever have that option.
Well, not for another 18 years or so.
The upside of today is that at least on top of myself being sick I don't have to care for little ones that are also feeling like snivelling lumps of phlegm, snot and lethargy.
My babies are actually not sick for once.
The downside of today is that I still have to meet the trillions of demands, needs and wants that my little ones cry, whine or yell at me while feeling like a snivelling lump of phlegm, snot and lethargy.
I told Adrian at breakfast that he had to be "extra good today and listen to Mummy really well".
"Why Mumma?" Always a why. Why do we have to wear clothes outside? (because it's cold and you'll freeze), why do I have to brush my teeth? (because if you don't bugs will eat holes in them), why is ketchup red (because it's made from tomatoes and tomatoes are red) why is ketchup made from tomatoes? (um...because it is?) Why, why, why.
"Because Mummy doesn't feel very good today."
"You should go sleep in your bed or watch one of your favourite shows". How astute my dear son. I wish I could.
Sneeze, sneeze, sneeze, sneeze...
HeAd PoUNd, HEaD PoUNd.
How I wish I could.
By the way, never, ever ask your three year old to be extra good and listen especially well because ultimately he will do the exact opposite.
Another tidbit of advice, no matter how sick you're feeling, don't take those daytime cold medicines because it ends up drying out your mouth and throat completely neglecting your nose so that it still feels stuffed up to your eyeballs yet somehow keeps dripping like a faucet, at the same time making your stomach feel like it's on the verge of upchucking the chicken noodle soup and oj you've been consuming in vast quantities.
They also make you feel so agitated and edgy that anything you say comes out sounding a lot sharper and louder than it was meant so that subsequently you not just feel awfully terrible but you also end up feeling like an awfully terrible parent.
(admittedly I didn't have any patience for my children's antics today)
Or maybe I just don't react well to those particular medications.
In any case, all Mother's have to deal with this scenario too many times so we all know how difficult it can be dealing with the long day ahead especially when feeling like you want to curl up into a ball and die.
Or just sleep.
However, now that my boys are napping I'm going to heed my son's excellent advice.
If I'm lucky I might get in 45 minutes of bad daytime t.v. as I hunker down on my couch with five blankets heaped on me and box of tissues in hand.
Oh how sometimes I wish it was still the good ol' days BK when I could call in sick whether I really was or not.
Not that I EVER did such a thing.
Ah, but I have a better job now.
The best job in the world.
Ain't it grand?
*BK - Before Kids*