Sunday, March 20, 2011

Does being a Mommy = being a Micromanaging Martyr?

Sometimes I wonder why families with small children bother to go out beyond the comfort of their homes at all.  Or maybe it's just my family.

It inevitably happens that I end up not only having to get myself ready but also two little ones while also packing and ensuring the diaper bag is properly stocked with snacks, sippy cups, extra clothing, diapers and wipes.

It also inevitably happens that I get frustrated and annoyed at my husband for not helping me do these things thus causing myself and my husband unmitigated stress which spills out onto the boys at which point one or both end up fussing, having a tantrum and/or melting down as I'm trying to stuff them into their jackets, hats and boots.

But then I think quite honestly, if my husband did assist me I would likely be trailing him around the house interrogating him to make sure he packed said snacks, sippy cups, clothing, diapers and wipes or he would be asking me a hundred questions as what to exactly to pack and where precisely to find said snacks, sippy cups, clothing, diapers and wipes which would more than likely irritate me even more.

Which is why I end up doing it all anyway.

I have also made an interesting observation about the whole situation of leaving the house with and without my husband.  I am far less stressed when it's just my kids and me leaving the house than when my husband is involved.  When it's just the boys and me, at least I KNOW I have no one else to rely on and if something doesn't get done fast enough or things aren't packed properly I'm the only one to blame.

Are all Mom's micromanaging martyr's or is it just me?

Please tell me I'm not alone here.

PLEASE NOTE**This is nothing against my husband or any other father for that matter...I do believe this circumstance to be true in MOST households**

**But then again, I could be totally off base here which is why I need to know that I'm not alone!**


melissabunyard said...

I just had this exact fight with Paul this morning!!!! You are not alone Jan!


Ellen said...

All mothers are micromanaging martyrs. We have to be to ensure the babes are warm, fed, dry, and that every aspect of life that could interfere with their happiness and comfort is packed into a diaper bag. It's quite a skill actually that is part of the female DNA. Men try, God love them, but they will always forget the diapers.... Men have so many other skills that we overlook or take for granted. Their very presence gives us the feeling of safety, strength and someone to take out the garbage. There is my late in life perspective on marriage and parenting. The Oracle has spoken :)

Attila said...

I would think that with us we have it divided fairly well, I generally dress them and put them in their seat and Csilla packs everything else (and I mean EVERYTHING else)! Hahaha