Mind Babble

I found out the other day it's a very dangerous thing for me to forget my earphones when I head to the gym.  For one thing the motivation factor flies out the window because let's face it...the music at the gym is hardly above a whisper.  There is zero motivation in quiet music no matter what bass factor is happening.  What also happens, specifically when I do cardio, is that my mind tends to go overboard - more than usual...random thoughts zing at me at a furious rate.  I want to zone out and 'ommm', you know, get into a mindless groove while running or pedaling but I found out years ago that I'm not great at meditating.  I'm not even good at it.

So there I found myself on the bike - not the lazy recumbent one but the ones that actually gives you a cardio work out even if you're only half into it.  I could hear the spinning instructor on the floor down below calling out with intensity.  The voice was blurry but I could definitely sense the urgency in his voice.  They must have their butts up off their seats now, I thought to myself.  And then this is how my mind went from there....

I wish I did spinning.  It looks like an awesome work out.  Everyone's always shiny with sweat when I walk by.  But that spinning instructor guy kind of sounds like a male version of Jillian Michaels and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't do so well with a trainer like that.  She scares me.  Although this season you really do see a softer side to her.  I like Dani.  I hope she wins.  I really should do a spin class.  Except it seems they're all regulars that go.  And I'd probably be that girl that 'stole' someone's bike unknowingly and I'd feel all self concious about it the whole time thinking I'm getting daggers shot at me and my whole 'spinning experience' would be tainted.  I'd  feel like the new girl at high school entering the cafeteria for the first time and having no idea where to sit because everyone knows that there are certain tables reserved for every clique.  Man.  Why am I so insecure?!  I'm 35 years old.  I am a woman!  High school was not that fun. I wonder if I ever came across as an insecure person?  We all have our perceptions of people but we're probably seen differently by others than what we see in our own minds about ourselves.  It really sucked switching high schools halfway through.  I'll never do that to my boys.  Then again it really does give you character and sets you out of your comfort zone forcing you to come out of your shell if you're in one, that is.  It really does suck though. But I wouldn't have met my best friend in the whole wide world if I didn't switch high school's.  I miss her.  I hope my boys are good teens.  Bah - don't even go there right now.  I'm really going to miss them next week.  I really need music...this is terrible.  Whatever happened to my City of Angels CD?   I've lost a lot of material crap in my life.  All my favourite things it seems.  What happened to my favourite grey shirt....I think about that stupid shirt way too much.  It completely just up and disappeared one day.  One day I was wearing it...next day...poof!  Gone.  I'm starving.  What should I make for dinner tonight?  Hmm.  I should keep it light and no wine tonight.  I have to fit into my bikini in a week for Jamaica.  Yum...jerk chicken.  I can't wait.  Four days of bliss doing whatever I wish.  It'll be nice to spend time with my Mum.  I miss her too.  I hope John has fun with the boys.  I probably should write him a list of what to do.  He has to make snacks for Adrian everyday. Healthy snacks.  And make sure his class gets their Valentine's on Thursday.  So cute...I remember well celebrating Valentine's Day as a little girl at school with our little homemade pouches hanging beside our desks gathering sweet cards from classmates.  Aw. I wonder if the resort will have a fun theme night on Valentine's Day. My Mum's my date.  That's funny.  I should ask Nicole about that spinning class.  She seems to go to a lot.  She would totally know if I was sitting on someone else's bike.  I'll send her a facebook message. I really, really, really wish I had my earphones.  Regis and Michael have good guests on today.  I LOVE Melissa McCarthy.  Bridesmaids was hilarious.  She seems so funny and down to earth.  I wonder if her show really told her she wasn't allowed to lose weight because of her contract.  That's really crappy, denying someone wanting to get healthy. My butt is going numb.  How do I expect to do a whole 45 minutes of a spinning class when my butt's numb after 13 minutes?  My other parts aren't feeling so great either.  This can't be good.  I wonder if anyone peered into my mind right now what they would think.  I think I probably seem a bit manic?  I'm not manic.  I'm sure everyone's mind thinks this way. I should blog about this.  

Please tell me I'm not alone in my mind babble.