Maybe it's because it seems the months are disappearing faster than a glass of chilled wine at the end of a highly stress inducing day with my kids but I've been stuffing the crap outta my days with my boys lately. Adrian will be starting JK come September and quite honestly - I'm just not quite sure what to think about it.
Sad, happy, excited, nostalgic, weepy, proud. These emotions are sitting high up in my chest...building by the day.
The outings that I've been packing into our days as of late always occur in the morning hours due to Finley having (still thankfully) a good 2 hour afternoon nap from 1-3ish. By the time he wakes, diaper is changed, and is fed his 'nack it easily becomes 4-4:30 at which point dinner needs to be started.
What exactly am I trying to say you ask? I'm all in a flutter, you see, because come September I won't be having these (mostly) awesome mornings with my sons'. I'm starting to realize that those future mornings are going to go by so quickly come September - and yes, I'm looking forward to having some rare one on one time with my little - and having a reprieve from the abundance of 'spiritedness' my biggest brings to the table. But...but THEN my littlest will be starting school the NEXT September and I'm thinking to myself HOLY SMACK A PONY what the hell happened to the first 5 years of my Motherhood Life???!!!
I want to enjoy it, love it, live it breathe it, soak it in- do all the cliches of Motherhood. I feel like I must do it all right now and not a minute later. And believe me - it's not all sunshine and lollipops. We are not skipping through the woods singing tra-la-la, doh a dear. No. In fact that last post about the Nature Walk? I 'forgot' to mention about the part that my eldest had to take a crap in the woods....and well...large leaves were involved. I don't know why didn't mention it - I just didn't think it would 'mesh' with the rest of the story y'know?
And when we went to the market last week? It was hot. Small child was irritable and was insisting on eating all the cherries - including the pits - as my eldest complained that he had to go pee. The only place we could really go was by an evergreen tree sort-of behind one of the kiosks - where there was a family sitting not 25 feet away watching me unsuccessfully block my son for 'privacy' (like he's so concerned) with a recyclable shopping bag while the other side was the parking lot of a mall that had perfectly clear view of my son doing his business. I also almost lost my youngest when he took a wrong turn between tents. Then my eldest (subconsiously) began to imitate one of the vendors voices as I bought buns from him - he had something wrong with his voice box or throat. He spoke in almost a whisper. He was very raspy and difficult to understand. My son began to clear his throat and talk in the same raspy whisper to me right in front of the man. Mortified. (we had a clear discussion about that underneath this tree right after it happened - we'll see how that sunk in another day though it was really in pure innocence I'm sure)
This morning? I did something I hate, hate doing. I went swimming at an indoor swimming pool with my boys. First of all - forget the fact that you have to wear a bathing suit in public which is never my idea of a good time - but I just have a thing about indoor swimming pools with all that humid, germ-filled air and who knows what in the pool - 'cause you know kids pee in the pool. It's just an all around ickfest for me - not to mention all of the unnecessary nudity in the change rooms. But I did it for them despite my discomfort and you know what? We had so much fun. We stayed so long in that pee infested water that our fingers and toes turned into raisins and I had to pretend to eat my little ones wrinkled up little hands to help him stop freaking out about it. (he has a thing about the feeling of pruney fingers - which, now that I think about it, I hated too as a child).
This is how I am determined to continue my summer with them. This is how I hope to continue my summers going forward with them. Markets, nature walks, swimming, balloon fights, bike rides, visits to farms. Sounds super idyllic right? Riiight. Tomorrow we shall go strawberry picking which I'm sure will result in more eating than picking and I'll try my hardest not to get stressed out about it ... but like I said ... you gotta take the good with the stress inducing and just know that the good is what you'll (all) remember.
That's what you hope for anyway.