Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Whilst picking up dog crap, I had a conversation...

I was cleaning up lovely piles of brown in our back yard so that the unfortunate incident of poo meeting shoe would not occur while Adrian ran off his always overabundance of energy.

I silently cursed my husband at this seemingly endless, disgusting task at hand.  What happened to the unspoken agreement that he does all the yard work and laundry and I do the rest?  I'm pretty sure cleaning up dog crap falls under yard work.

My eldest was swinging Superman style on the swing and randomly calls out to me as I'm bending over for the 50th time, my back to him, "Mumma, what does "my ass" mean?"

Since I was turned away from him and MY ASS was up in the air, I wasn't sure I heard him correctly.  What exactly was he referring to?

Who taught him such words??!

I stood up, turned around and walked closer to him.

"What does 'your ass' mean?" I asked him.  I wanted to make sure I heard him correctly...

"No.  'My ass'.  You that song the girl says, 'You'll be kissing my ass.'"

I stifled a massive bubble of laughter.  

On the way back from the gym that morning the song "Let's Get this Party Started" by Pink came on.  I usually play my Adele cd but it had ended and Pink's Greatest Hits CD was next.  

I certainly don't make a habit of playing songs like "F*&^$^ Perfect" while my kids are in the car with me.  And though I realized a short time ago that I should probably start censoring what I'm listening to when my son started singing the lyrics, "Give it to me baby like boom, boom, boom"  from a song sang by Rihanna, a song or two gets by me here and there.

However, I should know by now that very little gets past kids.

It was time to answer the question.

"Ass is another word for your bum.  And it's not a nice word to use so let's not say it again okay, bud?"  I could have told him it was another word for 'donkey' as we all know.  However, I had already foreseen the future of how that would go down at the local petting zoo...

"Hey Mumma - look at that cute ASS!!!" with a dozen or more parents witnessing my son running over to the donkey and giving it a big smooch.

I also could have told him both meanings of the word but he's only four and more to it...he's a boy so the focus isn't always there for conversations longer than one sentence. Two max. <I certainly don't mean that in a derogatory way, believe me, if you have boys under age 5, you outta know.>

Besides that, the definition of an ass is donkey and bum?  That's even confusing for me.

Luckily he didn't question the literal point of the sentence...he was already off climbing the ladder and the slide, onto the next thing.

And though I was doing a most disgusting and thankless job I was thankful that that was the end of that conversation.

Until next time.

Because...there is always a next time.


Robin noteverstill said...

So you know how my kids' daycare is right in my building at work and they see all the employees driving away every day from their pickup lane? Let me tell you about the very fun spring when my eldest could properly identify but not properly pronounce a high level supervisor's Volvo. "Look, she has a ____!" At least 30 employees at the bus stop heard her :)

Stacey said...

We listen to a lot of country music, and there's one song that goes, "I've got my toes in the water, ass in the sand..." For the longest time E sang that as "ants in the sand," which he thought was odd (he brought it up a few times), but went with it anyway. Once he figured out what was really being said, we had to take the song out of the regular playlist. (And yes, we waited. Guilt!)

Kristin said...

Ha! I've had one of these situations. The kind where you realize just how much they are taking in when your music is on... One day my oldest started singing Rihanna and Eminem's "Love the way you Lie" song. I hear her belt out, "Just gonna stand there an watch me burn"..."cause that's how like it" (her words).... Needless to say, we had a chat about that...and it was only a matter of time before she noticed the f-bombs in there we had to stop listening to that one.
BTW, shitty deal about that poop scooping....What a crappy job!