Thursday, August 4, 2011

Words. They're a funny thing.

Today, I'm taking a detour from the usual.  It's not that I don't have lots of funny stories to share about my family.  I do.  Please stay tuned.  But I had this urge to write about words.  Words that I love to hate and words that I simply love.

I know there are some people out there that gag or quiver disgustedly upon hearing the word moist.

I don't get it.  Okay I get it.  But to me the word moist makes me think of deliciously moist chocolate cake.

I guess everyone has words that bother them.  Or not.  Maybe I'm just weird.

No, I'm pretty sure I am.  I'm okay with it and if you are too I'd like to let you in on my little world of weirdness for a minute and share with you words that give me the willies.

1. Needle.  I hate the word needle.  There's nothing good that comes from the word needle.  I have a fear of them - I feel faint and nauseous knowing that something very sharp will be puncturing my through skin and veins. It gives me the heebies.  And to be used in the verb form - to be needled by someone or something.  That's never a good thing either.  Very.  Annoying.

2. Giblet.  My husband thinks it's hilarious to use the word giblet around me because it makes me shudder violently.  If he says it enough and uses it in a very gross sentence (that would make me barf if I dared type it out) I actually start to gag a little bit.

3. Head Cheese.  Okay so that's two words put together.  Two words that should never, ever, ever be together. Yet they are.  Does anyone else get very disturbing visuals upon hearing these words???  Or am I just one disturbed individual???  The weirdest thing about the 'word' Head Cheese is that there is no cheese involved.  What is that all about?  Can anyone tell me what's right about that?

And for anyone that's actually eaten this s#!t - you are one disturbed individual.

4. Twit.  My dad used to call me a twit often in my tween years and more than likely being a little b!#^h.  I suppose it was better than calling me a little b!#^h but still.  It's just not nice.  And now when I hear my husband use it on the boys it makes me cringe...I suppose it's better than calling them little a$$*@!%$.  But.  It's just not nice.

5. Pustule....excuse me while I throw up a little bit.  This word conjures up disgusting images of that guy that used to sit beside me in math class and pick at his pus-filled zits.  I believe this word should be banned from use.  Truly.  I do.  That and pus.  And phlegm.  Any word that involves a silent g with an m proceeding it is just plain wrong. *hurl*

Now that I've probably disgusted you (if you're still reading, thank you and I love you because you're probably as eccentric as I am) I'd like to share with you some words that I love.  And though I may not use these words often, when I hear them I can't help but say them over and over again.  Outloud. In my head.

The other day after complaining on facebook about how much an inanimate object could fill me with rage, or something like that (I was speaking about my computer) a friend informed me that if a computer had a cd player in it than it was considered animate. It's also considered animate if it's being 'zesty'.  Which it totally was.

Now there's a word to love.  Zesty.  I even love the way it looks.  It should be in lights or something.  There's nothing bad about zestiness.  Zesty Cheese Doritos.  Mmm.  So good.  Lemon zest.  Yum.  Being Zestfully clean.  Always a good feeling.  And there's nothing wrong with having a zesty personality.

Unless you're a computer that is.

Swoon.  I always picture a teenage girl with cartoon hearts coming out of her head, eyelashes batting and a very looong neck when I see or hear this word.  I suppose Swans are very swoon-like.  Minus the cartoon hearts and eyelash batting.  Swooooon.  Swooooooon.  I love it.

I call my little guys, buggers, when they're being...well.  Little buggers.  However, my neighbours brought it to my attention a little while ago that the word bugger is not *ahem* all that appropriate.  In Europe apparently 'bugger' is another word for sodomy.

Whatever.  I still love it.

And I don't live in Europe.

And it's better than calling them little assholes.

At least I think so.

What about you?  What words do you love or love to hate?


Anonymous said...

What about the word lettuce?? (Snicker, snicker, snort, laugh). Hahahhahahahahaa.

my3littlebirds said...

I love your commentary on swoon. You are right on. And I don't have an issue with "moist" either. Isn't moist a good thing? LOL

Ellen said...

This was funny. Thoroughly enjoyed it.

Ellen said...

I love the word Christmas with all the warmth and memories it stirs in me. I like the way people shorten some words - like vaca for vacation and kaz for casual and s'up. The word stupid is my least serves no useful purpose. Your description of swoon was well done. The word baby is all about love whether you're talking about a child or it's spoken between two adults as an endearment. So many words, so little time.