Saturday, May 21, 2011

An Adventure to Forget...

Today I am a less than perfect parent because....

 I decided to take my boys to Tim Horton's (I'm starting to really think they need to pay me for all the mentions they get in this little blog 'o mine)....read on....there's more...oh is there more....

It was a beautiful, sunny and warm morning so I thought it would be a fantastic idea to walk.  This is where the less than perfect part comes in.

Aidy wanted to go to the 'real' Tim Horton's (not the kiosk kind at the gas station just down the road - according to Adrian, this kind of Timmy's is fake).  This meant walking over 2 km...and that's just to our destination.

Out came the umbrella stroller for my little guy as Adrian wanted to ride his 'big boy' bike (aka - two wheeler).  The 'real' Tim Horton's was on the corner of a pretty busy intersection but I thought since the sidewalk isn't close to the road and it was first thing in the morning on a long week-end it would be fine.

I could not have been more wrong.

Less than halfway there he hit a bit of gravel and wiped out...thank God, no serious injuries because being the not so perfect parent I was not carrying any sort of first aid kit with me.  After dusting himself off and getting back on his bike he started to notice all the snails sleeping soundly in the middle of the sidewalk.  Yep, it seemed as though there were about 500 of those poor creatures just waiting to get run over or stepped on.

If there is such a thing as reincarnation, please, please, please, do not make me come back as a slimy, dumb, hermaphroditic mollusk that has no choice but to carry their house on their back 24/7.  Is there a more pitiful living thing than a snail?  I think not.  And what purpose do they serve exactly?  The only thing I could find on Google was that they "break down dead things".  Huh.  That tells me pretty much nothing.  (as a side note I also read that they can live up to 5-10 sometimes even 15 years!!!  A snail that lives 15 years must have some serious dumb luck.  In the most literal sense.)

Off my big boy went, looking down and attempting to dodge every snail in his way.

Crunch.

Crackle.

Squish.

It was very sweet that he was concerned about the little critters but clearly, it wasn't working very well and he was making me nervous not looking ahead to where he was going.

"Honey, don't worry about the snails!  Just keep your head up please and watch where you're going!"

So up he looks.

To the sky.

In the meantime my little guy is taking off his sandals and throwing his hat off every 10 feet.

Three quarters of the way there Adrian decides he doesn't want to ride his bike anymore.

Off the helmet comes.  I somehow manage to hook his bike onto the handles my unstable, crappy, cheap umbrella stroller while ensuring that my little guy doesn't have a pedal or wheel in his face.

Eventually we get near the intersection with Tim Horton's in view just across the street...so close...oh so close!... and I notice something.

Something very, very bad.

My heart dropped and anxiety hit me like a brick wall.

I made a huge mistake.

There's construction on every single corner with signs that indicate pedestrians not allowed.

Oh that's just f!@#!^*& great.

After standing at the corner with cars whizzing past us and every other one giving me the stink eye while wondering "what kind of Mother would take their kids on a walk through a construction zone...what a horrible, terrible Mother!"  I did only what  I could and braced myself for the backlash.

"Honey, we have to turn around.  I promise that as soon as we get home we'll drive to Tim Horton's but we cannot cross here.  It's way too dangerous."

Oh the tears.

I felt awful.  But eventually I got him turned around and on his bike again.

Halfway BACK home he started freaking out that his helmet was too hot.  So I asked him if he wanted to take a break.  We were right beside a huge field and I thought it would be fun to sit and look at all the pitiful snails that have now awoken.  Give my kids a little science lesson about snails.  Plus there was some random Canadian goose wandering around in the field sporadically honking every few seconds.  He was quite the entertainer.

And so we sat and said hello to the goose and talked to the snails.  I told the boys that the snails shells was their home and showed them where their eyes were.  Of-course Adrian thought the slime factor was pretty cool.

Ew.

We also saw some dandelions that had gone to seed and I showed them how to blow on them so that they can fly through the air and create even more pretty sunshine yellow fields.  ;)

Adrian decided it was time to go again and on his bike he got.

Except somewhere between sitting on the grass and getting on his bike he got something in his eye.

And would not stop crying.

At this point Finley, my ever patient child, had had enough and started to get squirmy in the stupid umbrella stroller.  I can't say I blame the poor guy.

I felt entirely helpless as both boys cried, Adrian rubbing his eye (as I asked him not to) and Fin throwing his hat and shoes this way and that having a mild fit.  My feet were getting blisters as this was the first time ever wearing flip flops this year.  (I know, I too, question the decisions I make far too often)

After about 5 minutes of dramatics Adrian decided he didn't want to ride his bike anymore and instead picked me a massive bouquet of dandelions.

That was definitely the highlight of our adventure and though the bouquet never made it home.....we eventually did.

After 1.5 hours.

Me, still caffeine deprived, Adrian red faced and irritable and Finley, poor little guy, exhausted and bogged down in the dumbrella stroller, by bikes, helmets, his sandals and my purse, tired eyes peering out from under his bucket hat that had fallen almost entirely over his eyes.

Home sweet home.

But not for long.

As promised, we clambered into the truck and off we went.

To the 'real' Tim Horton's.

6 comments:

paradigmjohn said...

...Such a story! I miss my fam!

Ellen said...

This blog just highlights what a great mom you are. Not afraid to reverse on a bad decision, multi-tasking while throwing in a science lesson and following through on your promise to go to a real Tim Horton's. That's what parenting is really all about.

Ado said...

Okay, cracking up over here - we may live in different time zones but we have the exact same experiences. That whole mollusk thing was bleeping hilarious. I pictured you and your kids in that intersection, and you w. all the Bad Mommy Thoughts whizzing thru your head faster than the cars going past. AND YOU GOT NO CAFFEINE. That is possibly the worst of it. Your intentions were good! (-: We've all been through the same "Let's for for a nice walk" kind o' disaster! The part that really got me was when you had to hook his bike onto the stroller done that been there too! Incredible strollers don't have hooks to hold "Big Boy Bikes" eh?

momosyllabic said...

Have been thinking about this since I read it a day ago: sounds like a trying morning. I am impressed at how well you handled it all though, and think the "especially good mom" award should always go to the mom who has to cope with unforseen disasters (eg closed sidewalks)!

Helene said...

Our lives are SO stinkin' similar! I'm impressed with the amount of patience you showed, even though you probably wanted to scream!!

There is no rest time for Mommy, is there? LOL!

January Dawn said...

Thank you everyone! Mumma - you are so sweet.

@Ado - I'm happy to have cracked you up and glad to know I'm not alone in this type of situation.

@momosyllabic - thank you...I love awards!

@Helene - I have to admit I was impressed with my patience as well. I had no choice but to go with it. We were far, far from home...