Perfectly Imperfect

If someone were to seriously ask me the question "What kind of Mother are you?" I don't think I could answer it simply.  Then again, could any of us?

I was reading an article about 11 Mom Stereotypes.  I quickly read through them and couldn't really identify with ANY of them.  This was clearly meant to be a tongue in cheek article but it made me think...

WHAT kind of Mother am I???......


I am the type of Mother that might not wash my 3 year old's hair for 4 days but whatever.  It looks clean.  And if you had to listen to the way he completely LOSES HIS MIND when water gets even near his eyes (you'd think he was being stabbed by a million needles) you wouldn't want to wash it either.  Believe me.

I am the type of Mother that although I believe in restricting the sugar intake in my house I will on occasion feed my boys Nutella sandwiches for dinner (or 'chocolate sandwiches' as my son calls them) when my husband has been away for a week or two.  I'll spread it on whole wheat bread.  That's not completely unhealthy right?

I am the type of Mother that is not above using 'toilet humour' to make my kids laugh.  It doesn't offend anyone and frankly saying the words 'stinky poop' makes me giggle too.

I am the type of Mother that is not keen on letting my kids watch too much television....but movies?  You bet your bottom dollar!  There's nothing I love more than curling up with my family in our huge bed watching Toy Story for the 50 millionth time.  That week.

I am the type of Mother that breast fed but looked forward to the day when I would be done.  I wanted my boobs back.  And I wanted to be able to go away with my husband for a night or 2 (sans kids) without my breasts exploding.  Pumping didn't work well for me.  Besides it being terribly uncomfortable I never got more than 4 ounces after a half hour of being bored to tears sitting doing nothing but listening to the loud humming of the pump and watching my nipple getting pulled longer than I would have ever imagined possible.

I am the type of Mother that has a fairly clean and tidy house but I'm not a germaphobe nor a neat freak.  I will allow my children to play in dirt, and they might even (gasp) lick a grocery cart once in a while.  I don't clean up their toys every night nor do I remember the last time I disinfected them.  I'd rather them take in a few germs and get the viruses out of their systems than ingest too many cancer causing chemicals.

I am the type of Mother that is not as organized as I'd like to be.  Example: my child is in pre-school right now and doesn't have an extra pair of pants in case he has an accident.  Because the last time he had an accident I forgot to replace them.  Fingers crossed it's a no accident kind of day!

I am the type of Mother that doesn't believe in the family bed in it's organic form but loves it when her 3 year old climbs into bed with her and her husband at midnight.  And yes, I let him stay there.

I am the type of Mother that has utmost patient somedays.  And no patience at all on others.

I am the type of Mother that really enjoys a delicious, cold glass of white wine.  Or red if we're out of white. Especially after a rough day.  'Nuff said.

I am the type of Mother that joined a gym not only to stay fit but to get a break from my boys.  Even if it is only an hour and a half...it's me time...and it matters.

I am the type of Mother that reads to her kids every night.  But if I'm tired and the book they choose has more than 8 pages and small print I will kindly ask them to choose another and cross my fingers this doesn't cause world war III.

I am the type of Mother that hopes and prays when her 3 year old son says he's going to be a doctor (his latest career of choice) that he actually does become a doctor.  And if he wants to be an actor, a banker or a hair stylist I will support him 110 % too...especially the hair stylist...imagine how much money I'd save?!

I am the type of Mother that before my kids were born I did their numerology chart based on their names.  I'm totally into astrology too.  I was terrified I was having a girl when I found out my second was going to be a Scorpio.  Teen girls are moody enough.  I didn't want to have to deal with a moody, female Scorpio on top of it.  {sorry if you're a female Scorpio, I do enjoy you but I'm glad I didn't parent you  ;)  }

I am the type of Mother that buys second hand clothing for my kids but will never buy used or inexpensive shoes for them.  You don't want to mess with your feet.

I am the type of Mother that forgot to take her 3 year old to his last soccer game.  See?  Again, not as 'on the ball' as I'd like to be.  (I know.  Bad joke)

I am the type of Mother that might bite and squinch (squish and pinch) her kid's bum's a little too much sometimes.  I find it very difficult to resist the baby chub.
*chomp, chomp, chomp* *squinch, squinch, squinch*

I am the type of Mother that rarely brushes her hair.  And at times I even forget if I've brushed my teeth until 2 pm when I wonder why I can't stand the taste of my own mouth.  I also go without a shower for a day sometimes.  But I do love getting made up and dressed up and going out on a date with my husband!

I am the type of Mother that hugs and kisses her boys about a million times a day.  I am idealistic enough to believe that love and affection can cure (almost) all.

I am the type of Mother that clearly is no type in particular.  I am not Tiger, nor helicopter, not neglectful, nor overbearing, not perfect nor do I even try to be.

I am a perfectly imperfect Mother.

That's the kind of Mother I am.