"The age of your children is a key factor in how quickly you are served in a restaurant. We once had a waiter in Canada who said, "Could I get you your check?" and we answered, "How about the menu first?" "-- Erma Bombeck
This quote is funny and so true. It reminds me of a lunch we had over the week-end.
After (finally) picking out a new fridge at The Brick (and deep freezer that opens LIKE A FRIDGE!....a little gift for the grief I've been going through for the past week) we decided that lunch must be had before we returned home as....well, we had no fridge hence no food.
So we decided to eat out.
At a restaurant.
And it wasn't McDonald's.
This is a very rare occasion for us. I think the last time we went out for lunch as a family to a "real" restaurant was in the summer. Sad I know.
We pulled up to the restaurant and parked the truck. I looked back at my kids with trepidation and thought to myself glancing at the time (1:00pm a.k.a. nap time) , this could go two ways.
Either they'll be so tired they'll be completely docile through the entire meal, maybe even fall asleep face first in their food (this has NEVER happened with my boys....why does it seem to happen to everyone else's?) OR in more probability they will be cranky as hell and the whole "restaurant experience" will go down the tubes FAST.
I knew Adrian would be excited because this week he kept talking about going to a "astronaut" and having chocolate milk and perogies. Must've been a memory that he was holding onto for God knows how long that made it's way to the forefront of his mind and became his fixation for the week.
We took a seat at a nice table as the server brought over some crayons and some colouring paper. One had a picture of a car and the other had Aladdin. I know. Isn't Aladdin so 1992?
Well. That's when the first issue began.
The picture with Aladdin had rip in it. He held it out between his thumb and index finger like it was dirty, with his lower lip starting to tremble ever so slightly.
I knew if I didn't immediately rectify this situation things could go very awry, very fast.
I sheepishly showed the server with a little rolling of the eyes and sideways jerk of the head toward my 3 year old the tragic ripped picture.
She quickly replaced it with a picture of Dora. And thank God he was okay with that.
We sat there colouring with the boys waiting for our drinks to arrive. For Adrian, a chocolate milk (of-course) my husband a pint of beer and me...well, I indulged in a glass of white wine. Threw caution to the wind at 1:00 pm on a Sunday!!! I was living it up people!
After shopping for appliances with 2 boys and NO stroller I was in desperate need for a pick me up.
We ordered as quickly as possible as only families with small children do. Knowing that we only had a small window before our lunch went to hell in a hand basket.
The boys food arrived at warp speed upon which Finley gobbled down his cheese pasta and Adrian had about 4 french fries from his plate of chicken fingers and fries. (no perogies at this "astronaut")
I wish I could stop at 4 fries.
Mine and John's meal arrived quickly thereafter and we inhaled our lunches in about 3.5 minutes flat.
At this point Adrian started fidgeting and complaining that he wanted down from his booster seat while Finley was attempting to throw everything within his reach off the table. Surprisingly there's a lot within a 16 month old's reach at a small restaurant table. I felt like an octopus grabbing here there and everywhere trying to keep plates from smashing and food from flying. I gave him a paper napkin to keep him occupied in the meantime which ended up in shreds on the floor...well, it's better than broken glass right?
I chugged down the rest of my wine, signaling the server for the cheque while my husband took Adrian for a walk. When she brought it back there was an error on the bill.
The kids were quickly losing patience and trying to climb on every chair, table and bench there was, grabbing at cutlery and condiments.
I was just thankful it wasn't busy.
And that I had a glass of wine with lunch.
The bill was fixed...but before we left the very nice server reminded us that the boys got to pick a toy!
Like I've said before. Adrian is as fickle as the weather in March...and just as indecisive.
After picking up about 5 different toys I took an airplane from his hand and made the decision for him crossing my fingers that it wouldn't backfire and I'd be dealing with a serious tantrum.
I breathed a sigh of relief when he was happy with that decision.
We got the boys bundled and out of the restaurant we trundled.
Less than 40 minutes later.