tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3386339698166187133.post4329439920726050823..comments2023-10-06T07:29:12.220-04:00Comments on The Dawning of January: The Phone CallJanuary Dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16539860749434822861noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3386339698166187133.post-10263570465727264092011-11-12T10:16:47.788-05:002011-11-12T10:16:47.788-05:00The thing which struck me was the kind inquisition...The thing which struck me was the kind inquisition from the caller: how are you doing today?<br /><br />It felt like compassion in advance of bad news... especially when paired with the duck mug details and the way the scene in front of her vanishes.Cameronhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05407917830307384493noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3386339698166187133.post-3866605905476143842011-11-12T02:09:40.049-05:002011-11-12T02:09:40.049-05:00Loved it! Left me wanting more! I felt like I was ...Loved it! Left me wanting more! I felt like I was sitting in the corner of the room watching it all happen.paradigmjohnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04578866723609062555noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3386339698166187133.post-50292500145097512292011-11-11T18:46:22.321-05:002011-11-11T18:46:22.321-05:00Oooh yay! Absolutely love this- the tension is per...Oooh yay! Absolutely love this- the tension is perfect!<br /><br />Details like the clock, the duck, her thumb are really memorable.<br /><br />And the false starts "w-well" ring true.<br /><br />I love the time stamps throughout as well!<br /><br />Hope to see more! :)Galit Breenhttp://theselittlewaves.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3386339698166187133.post-53351280624540375572011-11-11T13:56:57.972-05:002011-11-11T13:56:57.972-05:00This was wonderful. I love the small details abou...This was wonderful. I love the small details about the phone and little porcelain duck. Great foray back into the world of fiction -- I believed it!Venushttp://imnotwritinganovel.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3386339698166187133.post-69825052786320818222011-11-11T12:52:57.246-05:002011-11-11T12:52:57.246-05:00This was great!!! I recently went through some sca...This was great!!! I recently went through some scary medical tests and you nailed how I felt. I loved how she looked around, fingered familiar things and asked to be told over the phone. <br /><br />For some reason the toppling of the ceramic duck really grabbed my heart.<br /><br />I also liked how use the time...to count the minutes. <br /><br />The only thing I might suggest is giving a bit sensory detail within Morgan's body. For example, when I picked up the phone for my call, stomach clinched and my heart raced as I answered the call. <br /><br />She did this very well when you talked about how she held the phone tightly and when she stood up to stare at the clock.<br /><br />I also like how you wrote the dialogue to show her hesitation questions...Perfect!<br /><br />Finally, the ending fits..."And she flew out the door!" That's what we do when something like this happens. <br /><br />You did this scene very accurately and it was a good take on the prompt.<br /><br />All in all...this captured the waiting feeling very well.Sarahttp://www.sarahealy.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3386339698166187133.post-35054184294430458922011-11-11T10:23:20.805-05:002011-11-11T10:23:20.805-05:00Oh, no. I'm guessing the call was from the doc...Oh, no. I'm guessing the call was from the doctor's office. You really captured her fear well. Good work!Kristinahttp://kristinamarieb.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3386339698166187133.post-92172731649663056562011-11-11T09:19:52.760-05:002011-11-11T09:19:52.760-05:00Very cryptic. You've got me guessing... a pati...Very cryptic. You've got me guessing... a patient waiting for medical test results? Seems like the most obvious...MISHhttp://writer-in-transit.co.za/tete-a-tete/noreply@blogger.com